Do you ever have that experience of looking into the mirror and getting so caught up in the image of yourself that you become consumed with thoughts and stop feeling yourself?
Or eating a bag of popcorn / tub of ice-cream / block of chocolate and suddenly there's none left but you notice that you hardly tasted or felt what you ate.
Or perhaps your were touching your body or someone was touching your body but you didn't really 'feel' it. A kind of going through the motions that left you actually quite 'untouched'.
What's going on here?
> Shiva was not home...
In the very poetic tantric tradition of Kashmiri Shaivism the senses are considered goddesses, shakti's. And these shakti's are the devotees of Shiva, who sits at the centre of the shakti chakra. That is your heart.
Their names are shruti shakti (hearing), sparsha shakti (touching), rupana shakti (seeing), rasana shakti (tasting) &
ghandha shakti (smell).
In every moment these shakti's go out into the world and harvest all the beauty and richness of existence. They collect all the sounds, sensations, sights, tastes and smells, and bring them back to the altar of the heart as offerings for Shiva <3
However, sometimes Shiva is apparently missing...we are not present to our heart, resting at the centre of the shakti chakra. When this happens the shakti's get lost in the world, they drop their offering baskets, trip over thoughts, rip their skirts on jagged memories and forget the way home. Oh no! There is no polarity or magnetic force created by Shiva drawing them back to the heart.
We experience this as the inability to sensually relish in the beauty of life and transform sounds, sensations, sights, tastes and smells into pure delight felt in heart. You might be sitting in front of the most picturesque landscape and yet you feel untouched. Instead we might seek more or excess sensory stimulation (more chocolate, more intense touch, very loud sensations) to try and feel. Instead of becoming more present and resting as Shiva.
Don't let your shakti's get lost!
Be Shiva and reside in your heart :)
Modern woman's life is full, multifaceted and places us in many different roles. Mothers, wifes, lovers, business owners, carers, team leaders, mentors, students, activists...
If you're anything like me, you spend a good chunk of your day getting things done. Planning, ticking things off a list, focusing, directing people, organising, providing structure and support for others.
And these are great skills to have and cultivate.
The only problem is all this kind of mental stimulation squeezes the energy in your body up and forward. (Hello furrowed brow, stiff jaw and neck tension from working on a computer!)
So when it comes to feeling aroused, having intimate time, or plainly just feeling good in your body...it can feel like a monumental gap between your current zipped up state and relaxing down into your body enough to feel pleasure.
The gap may even feel so big that you don't even bother trying anymore, and just resign to feeling a bit numb and sexually disconnected.
Is that you?
Devotional Erotic Dance is a practice that has a myriad of benefits. One fundamental jewel is the ability to reconnect and cultivate of constant aliveness and pleasure moving through your body…even when you working or in ‘doing’ mode.
In fact you become a lot more effective and efficient because your actions draw on the wisdom of your body, the navigational tool of your heart and are energized by your connection to the flow of life.
If you feel all zipped up, dried out and tired...quit pushing boulders up hill - sister, there's an easier, more natural and pleasurable way!
Come experience Devotional Erotic Dance!
Arousal is not just about getting wet before sex.
Arousal is the effect of intimate connection, feeling alive and enthusiastic about life.
When your body is RELAXED, RESPONSIVE and RECEPTIVE to the possibility of what's happening in the moment arousal occurs very naturally. Everything feels more vibrant and rich....and not just in the bedroom.
You can be walking down the street relaxed, responsive and receptive to the breeze on your neck and feel aroused. Or looking into the night sky, dissolve in its vastness.
Or whilst taking a shower deeply feel the water running over your body drenching you in pleasurable sensations.
Arousal is about allowing the moment touch you intimately.
As a felt sense of intimate connection with life.
Unfortunately, we spend most of the time in our heads, too distracted to notice the magnificence of life, disconnected from the sensations in our bodies, or numbed out from past experiences of hurt.
If you don't currently experience ease of arousal in your sex life it's likely that you're not really turned on about what's happening in your life either. Our relationship with our sexual energy is fundamental to our creativity, expression and fulfillment in life.
If it flows, our life flows. If it's dried up, un-felt and stuck...life begins to feel that way too.
That's why through cultivating relaxation, responsiveness and receptivity in the body through Devotional Erotic Dance often leads women to experience massive life transformations as a result.
Women have quit unfulfilling jobs, conceived babies where before they were having difficulty, gained the confidence to launch successful businesses, attracted amazing new partners, let go of stale relationships that no longer served them, revolutionised the way that they parented, started epic passion based projects, and experienced new levels of orgasmic bliss in their sexual relationships.
If you're not currently aroused and desire to connect more deeply with yourself and life book in to an upcoming
Devotional Erotic Dance opportunity!
I know of no better way to gain clarity and acceptance around what’s really going on (not what I think is going on) in my life and relationships than to DANCE.
I dance when I’m confused about what to do next.
I dance when I’m stuck in a creativity rut and feel blocked in my expression.
I dance when I don’t feel sexually turned on and disconnected from my partner.
I dance when I’ve got a big social event coming up and I’m feeling nervous to meet lots of new people.
I dance when the least thing I feel like doing is fucking dancing.
Early in my dance journey I committed to dance for 1 hour every single day for 365 days. Daily, no matter what…and I hated it sometimes. Yet, it is was the most illuminating initiation of the feminine and freedom I’ve ever experienced.
But a daily dance practice doesn’t always look like a candle lit room, wearing lingerie, blissfully undulating and dancing for hours as you lose yourself in the moment.
Nope. Definitely not.
Daily practice can be defiantly putting down your phone, getting up in your work clothes even though your super tired and need a shower, and unwillingly committing to ‘just one song, that’s it!’ then swaying with your eyes closed and your attention turned inwards for 4mins with a grumpy face and then moving on to something else.
That is good practice. Consistency is good practice.
Dancing in the moments of most resistance is where the greatest transformation happens.
When you catch yourself about to open the fridge to emotionally eat and instead you drop into the feeling sense of your body and dance in the kitchen for 5mins.
Or you find yourself about to cancel plans with friends because you don’t feel ‘together enough’ and instead you stand up and shake yourself out.
Or mid reactively blaming your partner/children/parents for everything going wrong you wake up to the moment and do a little (or big) solo angry dance instead.
Physically moving our energy and emotions through dance allows us to perceive truths through the wisdom of our body, and releases the unconscious habits that cause us to stay contracted.
If we waited all our life to feel good, inspired and ready to do anything…I doubt anything meaningful would ever get done. Resistance and transformation go together. It is the inner tension of desire and repulsion that evolves us. In the union of opposites lies wisdom, beauty and power.
Dance with yourself every day.
Move your body. Wake up your energy.
Courageously let yourself feel all of it.
If you're feeling not at all ready or sufficiently 'together enough' to come experience Devotional Erotic Dance and connect with feminine erotic energy but you dearly long to feel free in your body and sexuality, that is the perfect conditions to dive in.
Ready or not...! :)
Recently, I shared how I started dancing…but what I didn’t include was the more relevant story of how I almost didn’t start dancing.
Have you ever experienced contraction in the form of inhibition, doubt, obstacles, distraction or sometimes blatant self-sabotage just prior to expanding into a grander embodiment of your true self or taking an action aligned with fulfilling your heart’s purpose?
I certainly have! Whenever I’m stepping up and doing something that’s really meaningful to me I experience it. BAM! Tightness in the belly, flutters in the heart, chaotic thoughts.
Contraction before expansion is an unavoidable part of any transformational process. But you can’t let it keep you down, small and discouraged. The fruits of your commitment to embrace your full potential as spirit living through a physical body are SO worth it.
Here’s my tale of why it’s worth it to follow your heart & how I almost didn’t start dancing...
In February 2011, on a whim of hearty inspiration my best friend and I packed up our house, quit our jobs and sold anything of value we owned to finance moving to a small island in Thailand to participate in a Mystical Dance Teacher Training Course with no plan of ever returning to Australia.
In the depths of my soul I intuitively knew getting into dance was going to change my life fundamentally…yet I felt a mixture of excitement and extreme nerves as I had never really danced much before.
The first few of days on the island before the course started were bliss. We spent our days drinking coconuts, lounging in hammocks and riding around on scooters with the wind of freedom blowing in our hair.
Until the afternoon one day prior to the course starting. Riding along on a scooter laughing & singing something ridiculous, we turned a corner in the road, some loose sand caused the scooter tyres to slip, I lost control and we both came crashing onto the concrete.
We hit the ground hard and emerged dazzled, concussed and covered in blood, grit and road rash.
Our only consolation: two handsome men found us, picked us up and took us to the hospital.
At the Thai hospital we received basic care to clean up our visible wounds and were sent home to rest. Sent home to allow the shock to wear off and begin feeling the devastation of having a broken body only 12 hrs out from starting my supposed to be life-changing dance experience.
I had intense pain in my right collarbone and it was highly recommended that I go get an x-ray. I knew I had two choices if I went to get an x-ray. Either the x-ray would show my collarbone wasn’t broken and I’d just have to take it easy, rest and wear a sling for a while OR it would show a fracture and I’d have to go home to have it fixed and thus miss my Mystical Dance Teacher Training Course.
Very regularly I see women grappling with showing up during their transformational process.
I get it. I feel it too.
It’s hard to muster up the courage to embrace the one thing you really deeply desire that simultaneously scares the shit out of you.
But, if you want to do anything meaningful with your life you CANNOT side step the experience of uncertainty, doubt, fear and challenges.
Your power lies in realising these contractions are a natural part of the process and not to let them stop you from showing up and taking action where you know you need to.
I share my story hopefully to inspire you to see the value of going through the obstacles and your perceived limitations. I still experience this contract-expand dynamic all the time, it never goes away, you can only get more committed & relaxed about going through.
The contraction we experience is always proportional to the transformation and expansion awaiting us on the other side of fear.
Keep showing up where your heart wants you.
You’ve got this and you're not alone.
STAY TUNED: Obstacles to Transformation [PART 2] – The Power of Commitment
"For almost a year I would read the feedback from the DED weekend workshops and wonder if all the hype was really true. Or more so if i was capable of feeling the depth of this course that all of these woman before me had.
What if it's too much? What if I can't handle it? It kinda scares me! It would be such a waste of money if I didn't show up..
However beneath the chatter of my fearful mind there was always a warm and inquisitive whisper prompting questions like:
'But what if I DO love it, what if through this practice I form a deep connection to my body and heart?'
'What if i see myself as the beautiful powerful feminine goddess that i'm longing to feel inside and out?'
'What if tapping into my sexual energy opens and allows more love and freedom to flow through me and into my life and relationships, igniting a confidence in myself and what I desire and deserve as a woman?'
'What if through this practice I form a deep compassionate and loving relationship with my body which allows me, for the first time in my life, to really love myself and appreciate all the parts of me that make me a woman, that make me, me?' <3
Well, after letting that little voice, which I like to think is my heart, get so loud I couldn't ignore it anymore, I booked into Holly's DED course and made the commitment to dancing through my fears and eliminating that mind chatter every single week.
I am beyond happy, relieved and proud to say all my desires + more were met during this time and now I too am sitting here enjoying some deep reflection and gratitude for everything I have just experienced.
Allowing myself the opportunity to be so seen/vulnerable every week while so deeply supported and strengthened by my sisters was such a blessing.
Even on the weeks I didn't feel up to it I still made the commitment to go and 100% of the time left feeling so much more in tune with my body and simply more alive than I felt before.
Holly creates SUCH a beautiful and nurturing space for you to feel supported and loved in this sometimes confronting journey. Her wealth of knowledge surrounding the feminine and masculine (plus so much more) flows out her so effortlessly into every class. She is a true gift to us all on this journey, lighting the way with her acts of love and dedication, she is a constant inspiration and reminder of everything we are capable of achieving as woman.
I cant stress enough how much of an impact she's had on my own journey and how much I urge you all to be blessed with her practice and teachings as soon as possible.
So thanks to Holly and the sisters I shared these last 6 weeks with I now have a new confidence, and sense of inner strength that I know stems from my heart. Its not ego, it doesn't seek attention or validation from my relationships, its a deep love and respect for myself and a continuous thanks from my body and soul for making the commitment to grow and expand every class.
So, it is without an inch of hesitation I recommend this course for your body, mind and spirits evolution.
Every woman has something to gain from these teachings and NOW is the best time to start.
If you're reading this, you're ready :)
Fear not! You are loved and you are supported.
True magic awaits <3 <3"
These are the heartfelt words of Ashleigh Edmunds, with whom I've had the absolute pleasure of witnessing move from hesitation into glorious embodiment of her feminine nature in the DED level 1 course, and now is continuing to embrace all the wonders of being a woman in the level 2 course!
She generously allow me to share her testimonial in the hope that her experience would also inspire other women to take the leap.
If reading this has affected you...don't wait any longer.
I started dancing not so long ago in 2011. Prior to that I had explored salsa socially for some months, and before that you wouldn’t have even caught me dropping a few moves in the living room.
Up until 5 years ago I had very little relationship with my femininity, love for my body or inkling of what was possible to feel through dancing.
The game-changer for me was a suggestion from my intimate partner back then to replace my rigorous yoga practice with dancing but keep the same level of inner awareness.
So, I began to dance for 60mins per day, every day…rain, hail, shine, menstrual, grumpy, relaxed, stressed…no matter what, I would dance the dance of whatever I was experiencing. Eyes closed, ipod on shuffle, the dance would unfold…sometimes clunky, sometimes almost still, some times dynamic and emotional.
And my life began to change…dramatically.
The dance in my heart began to awaken.
It was magical, I felt alive in my senses like never before & marvelled at the beauty I found everywhere I went.
I couldn’t stop dancing, life became an incredible mystical dance with a universal dance partner leading the way!
Amidst my own home practice I was also engaged in an extraordinarily beautiful & deep practice called ‘Hridaya – Meditation for the Spiritual Heart’ and was entering 10 day silent retreats every month for 8mths or so. It was absorbed in seated meditation that the vision, method and philosophy for Sacred Dance emerged.
Dance fundamentally changed my world.
Now, it is my honour to share the potential for awakening through dance.
I take great pleasure in seeing all the time women experiencing the same union with dance as I did.
A relationship with dance that brings radiance, freedom, love andgratitude to all corners of your heart.
And whole body relaxation when you realise you don’t have to try so hard and push to do everything. The dance is already happening, within you it has a volition of its own, leading you always towards the most uplifting experience of life for your soul.
On 20 March (next weekend) I’m offer a 1-day workshop nestled in a nature on the Sunshine Coast called ‘Awaken the Dance in Your Heart’. I will be sharing the fundamental philosophy and practices to fall absolutely in love with yourself and the dance of life.
If you heart is yearning, please come join us!
CLICK HERE for more info & bookings
Below: This photo is from late 2011...about six months into my practice of awakening through dance.
Are you the type of woman that gives and gives and gives in relationships trying to make yourself feel adequate, because just being who you are isn’t quite good enough?
Don’t get me wrong, giving is a beautiful and fulfilling quality of the feminine nature, just look at Mother Nature and all the she gives. I’m talking about the kind of hustle to sell yourself as good, pleasing and acceptable that happens because you don’t respect yourself enough to value who you are.
No matter what you do, how tolerant you are, how much you give till you burn out and are an emotional wreck or numb, your partner and the people around you don’t really value and respect what you do because you don’t give yourself that honour.
You are enough.
I know we’ve been told for eons that women are inferior, sexualised objects and weak victims that make bad decisions. It’s time to come to our senses. Real change starts within. It starts with every woman rediscovering the inherent divinity within herself, marrying herself and committing to her own self-love and worthiness. Only then can you really love and serve another.
The courageous, yet vulnerable women who embrace the Devotional Erotic Dance practice very quickly come to realise the immense value, power and beauty of who they are and begin to respect and honour their own intrinsic worth as non-negotiable.
I get constant feedback from Devotional Erotic Dancers about the huge positive changes in their lives that come from owning and honouring who they are. In their relationships, their work and their communities, people interact differently with them, respect them, give them time, opportunities, listen to them and possibilities open because they have claimed themselves.
If you need to reclaim your self-worth and experience the incredible blessing you have in this life of being born a woman…there’s not a single moment to waste feeling unfulfilled, come dance.
So much more than a sexy dance class…
The 3 most common relationship issues and how understanding & embodying one important principle transforms them all...
Every week I’m engaging with a lot of different women of all ages from all sort of backgrounds.
These safe and nurturing spaces allow for a lot of heartfelt honesty, openness & vulnerability about our relationship with ourselves, with others and with life.
I want to share with you the three issues I hear most often from women about their intimate relationships (or absence of)…
1. “I feel I am transforming so much but he does not want to open & grow with me”
2. “We love each other, but there’s just no sexual chemistry anymore”
3. “I want a relationship but there doesn’t seem to be many great men out there”
If you can relate to any of these you’ll empathise with the heart ache, longing and frustration that this feeling of something missing can bring.
I know I certainly have experienced all these feelings deeply in the past and it was for one important principle I did not understand, did not cultivate and thus caused me a huge amount of confusion & dissatisfaction,
that is: sexual polarity.
‘Polarity’ is a fundamental law of the universe recognised both in mainstream science, tantra and dare I say every esoteric tradition. It is the dynamic force between a positive (+) and a negative (-) pole. Polarity is happening at the level of atoms creating an electrical current for your lights at home, in your breath through inhalation (+) & exhalation (-) connecting you with the flow of life, in your inner awareness as a detached witness to thoughts & experiences (+) or engaged in the energies of life with all your senses (-), and most definitely in your relationships as a play of sexual energy between the masculine (+) and feminine (-).
Just as if you put two oppositely charged magnets near to each other they will be magnetised, attract and create an arch of energy and insatiable pull between them, so it is with intimate relationships.
Also true, if you put two magnets of the same charge together there will be repulsion. Two people embodying their masculine nature will be inclined towards competition, fighting, bringing things to an end, as will two people embodying their feminine nature will tend to have fun, play, share emotions & stories but not really commit or go anywhere…in both cases a magnetic sexual energy will be absent and the deeper needs of each partner and the relationship will go unfulfilled.
Understanding the significance of polarity and cultivating your feminine (and masculine) nature is essential to going deeper in a relationship, both for attracting a trustable deep masculine partner into your life and/or embodying the enormous potential you have as a woman to inspire openness, growth and change in the heart of your partner.
Polarity is the force moving between two poles, you can only change yourself, but through your own inner transformation and empowerment you will naturally affect your partner or potential partner.
Since, we live in a society that exceedingly values the masculine nature often most women are moving through the world embodying a masculine nature. It's not wonder relationship get confusing when many women are unaware of the need to and how to relax into their feminine nature when relating with an intimate partner.
Devotional Erotic Dance & the Spirituality of Feminine Sexuality is a transformational journey in recognising, reclaiming and awakening the enormous power of your feminine nature through a dynamic experience of dance and sisterhood in a safe and supportive space for exploration.
It is so much more than a dance class, more than self-development, more than a spiritual education in relationships & sexuality, it’s not therapy but healing certainly happens as a side effect…it is pure magic and opportunity to touch the Goddess within and see her dance.
Feminine sexual energy is undoubtedly the most powerful of forces in this world. It is pure potentiality, the creative drive of life itself and intoxicating beauty of nature manifest in endless forms.
Secretly if not openly most women know or at least intuit that this erotic energy within them can move mountains and essentially get them anything they desire.
What if you could access the capacity to manifest whatever you desired into the world?
Such an immense capacity for transformation dwells within your hips...no wonder so many of us shut it down and keep our knees together for fear of our own potential!
But what if this scintillating erotic feminine energy is married with the heart...offered in its fullness as a sacred gesture of devotion to your beloved. Not used to elicit security from men, expensive clothes and a new car...but in service of the highest love, for spiritual awakening.
How would it feel to connect, express and be seen in that fullness of your sexuality? In all it's facets...the softness, the wildness, the playful and dirty without shame, judgement or boundaries. To surrender to the erotic energy that creates and moves the entire universe also moving through you, kissing your neck with goosebumps, heating your thighs with passion, and streaming up your spine with the caress of fine silk.